VML--Mom

My mother is the queen of letter-writing.  She sends me about five four-page letters a week, in addition to writing regularly to my older sister and my younger brother.  These letters are written well in advance of sending, so they don’t usually have recent news.  Rather, they’re full of her thoughts and opinions on things, old family stories, and the occasional nag or scold.  She begins and ends every letter in a similar fashion: “I hope this finds you well and happy,” and “Lots and lots of love, Mom.”

I love these letters.  They’re the subject of envy from anyone who comes to the post office with me.  I have a shoe box full of saved letters on the top of my bookshelf, with notes on why I saved them, so I can refer back to them later.  They help me learn more about my mom, my family, and myself. 

Frequently they are thought-provoking.  A letter I read a few weeks ago was talking about how difficult it is for my mom to believe that I will be graduating college.  She gave me the usual “It seems only yesterday” talk.  Then she told me a story about how, when she was about five or six months pregnant with me, she had an epiphany.  As I understand it, she and my father had planned out the names of all their children long before any of us were born.  I was meant to be Margaret Anne.  But a few months before I was born, my mother decided very suddenly that I was not a Margaret Anne.  “I just KNEW,” she told me.

I wonder how she knew?  What changed in that moment to make her realize that I was gearing up to be an Eileen Michelle, and that she had to change her plans to suit mine?  And how would my life be different if she hadn’t?  I wouldn’t have a little sister named Margaret Anne, for starters—she’d have some other name.  I think I would make everyone use my whole name, or if they had to shorten it, use Anne.  I might have turned out to be a musician rather than a writer—it just seems to me to be more of a music-y name. 

It all comes out for the best.  I like my name, and must always have done, as I used to go around spelling it for adults.  It’s reassuring to know that even in utero, I knew my own mind.  Makes me feel like I got off to a good start on life.  And I think it being an uncommon name has set me apart a little bit from the crowd.  Sometimes I don’t like that; sometimes I do.  Either way, I am who I am.  So thanks, Mom.