My Intuition Knows Something I Don't Know

Every Monday, I have a voice lesson.  Sometimes I spend more time talking in this lesson than I do singing, but it’s always enjoyable.  Today my teacher told me something that surprised me.  We were talking about how it feels to be the one in charge of a situation, and how strange that feeling can be the first few times you get it.  I mentioned how I had found myself in charge of several situations recently.  “Oh, well,” my teacher said, “you have a rather commanding presence, so I’m not surprised.”

Huh?  Commanding presence?  Me?  I’m five feet tall with a baby face, so I’m certainly not physically intimidating in any way.  And I usually consider myself to be rather shy, especially with strangers.  So—commanding?  Not quite the adjective I would choose. 

The idea of “presence” is intriguing to me, though, and I like the thought that I have one, whatever type of presence it might be.  How does one go about having a presence, though?  Not everyone has one; not everyone makes an immediate impression without saying a word.  There’s a girl in my choir who has a very cheerful presence—she makes me smile whenever she walks into the room.  I had a high school teacher who had a very intimidating presence.  He terrified me, though I was one of the best in his class.  Then there are people who just put me off—a repellant presence? 

It all comes out of intuition, our “sixth sense.”  Somehow we learn to judge people by tiny signals that our subconscious mind reads.  Some of it is probably in the physical—the way someone carries herself, or the expressions they use.  But there’s more to it than that.  What is it that makes us able to decide at a glance whether someone is trustworthy, or whether we respect that person, or whether we want to have their company?  It’s a mystery to me.

If I had to choose, I’d say I wanted a “soothing” or “welcoming” presence.  I suppose, though, that having a commanding presence isn’t a bad thing.  It might make up a bit for my lack of confidence (or inches).  Then again, maybe my commanding presence itself rises out of an unconscious confidence that I never knew I had.  I hope so, sometimes.  I need all the help I can get.