A Wordless Thought Fulfilled

One of my friends posted a thought on facebook tonight that really caught my attention with its insightfulness, poetic strength, and its similarity to my own feelings.  She said, “Sometimes I am so overwhelmed with the desire for some grand and magical adventure that it physically hurts.”  Those words ignited a fulfillment in me, a feeling of “Yes!  That is just exactly what I have been trying to say for years.”

I think I have always had this feeling, this yearning for more in my life.  When I was a girl, I remember I tried to keep a journal for a while.  It didn’t last because I didn’t believe anyone would want to read it.  Who cares about the day-to-day life of a teenage girl?  Or that of a woman in her twenties, for that matter.  For me, life was dull, monotonous, boring.  It still is, sometimes.  I get up, go to work, come home, change my clothes, put on makeup, turn the heat on and off.  Who really cares? 

I live for the magical moments in life—for that bright red bird who sits above the door to my car, the autumn leaves dancing as I sit at the bench of peace and light, singing a lullaby to myself as I swing in an empty playground.  I sustain myself on beauty, on poetry, on wisdom and kindness, and I live my life to the fullest in those cracks in the monotony of “everyday.”  And yet it is not quite enough to satisfy my longing for magic, for adventure, for grand-ness and magnificence and things that one doesn’t seem to find in this world anymore.

This is why I am a writer.  This is why I compose new worlds for myself: to fill my life with the brightness and the vividness of the magic this world has lost.  Sitting here in this very spot, the energy of new words, new idea, new stories to tell runs straight through my dancing fingers and up into my mind and my heart, washing clean the cobwebs and making me good as new.  This is why I do what I do.  This is why I am who I am.