Repartee is Something We Think of Twenty-four Hours Too Late

I love repartee.  Being a smartass myself, I appreciate sharp wit in others, and I have entire books of smart comments from people who think on their toes.  I especially appreciate it because too often I am that person who comes up with a delightful response to a smart remark ten minutes after the delivery of that remark.  So this morning, I’m simply going to share some of my favorite gems from my memory, for your reading pleasure.  Enjoy!

George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill:  “I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.  If you have one.”

Churchill’s response: “Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second…if there is one.”

An exchange between Muhammad Ali and a flight attendant asking him to put on his seatbelt:

“Superman don’t need no seatbelt.”

“Superman don’t need no airplane, either.”

William Faulkner on Hemingway: “He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.”

Ernest Hemingway on Faulkner: “Does he really think big emotions come from big words?”

Lemony Snicket, in response to a video of a woman destroying his books:  “It has always been my belief that people who spend too much time with my work end up as lost souls, drained of reason, who lead lives of raging emptiness and occasional lunatic violence.  What a relief it is to see this documented.”

And though I can’t remember the exact names of the ladies who said this, it’s too good not to include.  Back in the days when ladies wore gloves, one of them expressed disgust at the kidskin her friend was wearing: “Skin of a beast!”

Her companion politely asked what then the other lady wore.  When she answered “silk”, the lady in kidskin gloves declared in horror, “Entrails of a worm!”

For more smart replies, take a look at “Viva La Repartee: Clever Comebacks and Witty Retorts from History’s Great Wits and Wordsmiths” by Mardy Grothe, a very delightful book and the source of most of these quotes.  If sometime in my life my name and my words appear in a book like this, I will not have lived in vain.

Photo credit: http://www.drmardy.com/repartee/vivalarepartee.shtml

Title is a quote by Mark Twain, borrowed from the front of this book.