There is a running joke that I’ve shared with my
friends several times. Whenever we have
a particularly productive day or accomplish a small task such as going to the
bank or setting up an interview, we brag about being adults. The concept of adulthood is often on my mind,
since it’s a recent achievement for me.
I’m wondering, today, what it really means. Merriam-Webster defines “adult” in the
following ways: “fully grown and developed” and “mature and sensible; not
childish.” This is ironic to me, since
the jokes we tell about it (“I made myself dinner—I’m an ADULT!”) are rather
childish in tone. They show a child’s
pride in accomplishing something for themselves.
The
thing is, as children, we’re shown a certain standard of living for
adults. Most of our parents have stable
homes, secure families, long-term jobs, and a place in the community. They keep their houses clean, have pets and
framed pictures and real furniture. They
usually don’t shop for their clothes in Goodwill, and they buy things at the grocery store that are not microwavable or frozen.
Now,
legally, I have been an adult for five years.
Biologically I’ve been one for much longer. But culturally speaking, most people are not
considered adults until they’ve completed college. It’s the twenties, then, that begin our
membership in the realm of adulthood, a time of life known for its uncertainty
and reckless living. I have been out of
college for a year and a half now, and I’ve lived in two different apartments
in that time, neither of which was particularly special. I work as a waitress, and I typically try to
dodge questions about what I’m doing to get out of that job. I have friends who are in the same position—working
the night shift, scrambling for freelance positions, or moving from city to
city to find work. Sometimes I think we’re
more like children playing house than actual adults.
The
trick of being an adult, of achieving that dream of stability we envision, is
we have to build it from the bottom up.
If we really want to do it on our own, we have to take crap jobs, sleep
on a mattress on the floor, pinch and scrape and save for years until we
finally find the rhythm that gives us a steady uphill climb. To be an adult means to do what needs to be
done, to take care of yourself, and to keep at it and stick with your dreams. That’s what I’m doing; that’s what my friends
are doing.
Come
to think of it, the pride we take in that no longer seems quite so childish.
