Well. It has
been almost a year since I visited this site. Through most of this year, this place in my
mind has lain fallow, undisturbed by any attempt at growing life. This is good for a farmer’s field—is it as
good for a creative activity? Or is this
rather like a muscle that will atrophy if not exercised?
I
have to admit, I do not like to write about my life. There is a reason that I am a science fiction
and fantasy writer—or rather, there are many reasons, but the one that is most
relevant here is that my own life often bores me. I get up, I go to work, I come home, I read a
book, I go to bed. The next day I do it all over
again. Why would anyone have any
interest in what I do, if I don’t? And
often I don’t. Viewed from outside my
own head, I am a very dull creature.
This
is not to say that I am unhappy. I like
my job, and I do not regret the time I spend reading or writing. I fill my days with thought and story and music,
and I am content with that. But that
kind of thing is hard to put into essay form.
That is why this blog is filled with my reflections on my life, rather
than reports on my activity. And even
that has fallen silent this year.
I
think that is because I have become comfortable with being my own master. I started this blog because I was advised to
do so by a writer I interviewed in college, and I’ve kept it going out of a
sense of obligation. But why, I wonder,
should I spend so much time chipping away at telling my own story when I am so
eager to tell others? My time and my
creative energy are so precious, and I have learned by now that my writing is
much better when I let it flow, rather than when I try to force it. And so this year I have devoted my time to angels and to artificial intelligence, and occasionally to demons and magic mirrors and space pirates. I have thrown myself into the joy of writing and tried not to guilt myself too much about what I "should" be doing.
I
see the wisdom, of course, in working in several different styles of writing. Variety is the spice of life. And so I will try to keep posting here, though
there will likely be long stretches in between updates. But I am to the point that I know my craft,
and more importantly, I know myself. I will
write what needs to be written and let the rest come as it may.
