Friday, August 1, 2014

The Shape of Our Containers

"Every configuration of people is an entirely new universe unto itself."  Kristin Cashore, from her book Bitterblue

The identity is a complicated thing.  I am a different person depending on my surroundings and my circumstances.  With my family, who have known me the longest, I am a goofy and young, rather naïve, and a bit clumsy.  Perhaps more than a bit.  With my friends, I laugh a lot, but I also am a great deal quieter, smiling and listening more than I speak.  At work I am professional, rather more sarcastic than elsewhere, with long fuses of patience that cause large explosions when they burn out.  And at home I am silent, thoughtful, and I often speak to myself. 

It is truly impossible to fully understand a person.  The intricacies of who we are and what has shaped us are so complex that we have trouble keeping track of ourselves, much less others.  With each person we meet, we become a little different, responding to their responses to our actions and words.  We build layer upon layer of awareness and behavior, then tear those layers down when a new person comes into view.

This is the adaptability that has placed us at the top of the evolutionary ladder.  In the physical world, humans had all the best tools to survive, and now in this world of hearts and minds we have done the same.  We have made ourselves malleable, liquid personalities capable of surviving any challenge of hatred or fear or inquiry that others may present to us.  And in so doing, we create our own struggles, because these constant changes make it all that more difficult to understand ourselves, to know what that odd little word “I” really means.

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